Satire — Windows of Opportunity

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Image source: Mounirzok via Wikimedia Commons

Image source: Mounirzok via Wikimedia Commons

Looking for a Window of Opportunity? If so, you’ve probably noticed production has all but dried up over the past several years. Worse, the dearth may continue for the foreseeable future, as manufacturers continue to experience difficulty in importing the raw materials required to produce the Windows.

“Hope, optimism, and confidence are in short supply,” says Rosy Glasses, spokesperson for the American Outlook Association. “Without those basic building blocks, it’s impossible to create new Windows of Opportunity.”

Theories about the cause of the shortages vary, as do estimates of how long the lack of raw materials will continue. Some experts predict a turn-around within a few months, while others believe a complete recovery may take as long as four years when the time required to fill back orders is factored in.

Whoever is correct, until production returns to historical levels, experts say Windows of Opportunity will remain scarce. As an alternative, they suggest Americans maintain the Windows they already have. Recommendations include patching cracked panes with duct tape and plastic, and prying gloomy funk from around the sash to allow your Windows of Opportunity to slide freely. If your Windows of Opportunity are cloudy, briskly brushing off the coating of despair can help restore a sunny point of view.

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