The Sound Machine

Thanks for sharing this!

New year, new congress, same old sound machine.

US congressional leaders today confirmed that the sound machine, a whirring, clanging contraption located beneath the capitol building, has not been dismantled, despite pre-election promises to re-tool America’s political apparatus.

“The sound machine keeps chugging along year after year,” says Aye Noheeryu, chief engineer. “It’s a great piece of equipment.”

The sturdy sound machine produces the vast quantity of noise that emanates from Washington each day, and is the source of the babbling you hear whenever legislators gather in groups of two or more. Those who would like to see the sound machine dismantled say the clamor distorts whatever message politicians are trying to send. They expected the new Congress to shut the machine down, and were dismayed to learn the commotion will continue unabated.

Mr. Noheeryu says he’s surprised by disappointment over the failure to deactivate the sound machine.

“I don’t understand what the problem is,” he says. “No one here is listening anyway.”

You might also like these posts

Satire — Gridlock Image source: www.wpclipart.com Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...
Staying Calm Calm International is losing its stature as a global leader in the equanimity market, with sales of flagship merchandise simmering down. While Calm remains a key provider of composure, harmony, and serenity products worldwide, experts say the company has been losing its cool for years---a development reflecting the rea...
Do You Know Better? Of course you know Better. Everyone thinks they know Better. Yet I. Dunno, spokesperson for the international celebrity, says no one really knows Better. "If I didn't know Better," says Mr. Dunno, "I'd think these people were delusional." Experts, many of whom do not actually know Better, say it's natural for peop...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,