The Sound Machine

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New year, new congress, same old sound machine.

US congressional leaders today confirmed that the sound machine, a whirring, clanging contraption located beneath the capitol building, has not been dismantled, despite pre-election promises to re-tool America’s political apparatus.

“The sound machine keeps chugging along year after year,” says Aye Noheeryu, chief engineer. “It’s a great piece of equipment.”

The sturdy sound machine produces the vast quantity of noise that emanates from Washington each day, and is the source of the babbling you hear whenever legislators gather in groups of two or more. Those who would like to see the sound machine dismantled say the clamor distorts whatever message politicians are trying to send. They expected the new Congress to shut the machine down, and were dismayed to learn the commotion will continue unabated.

Mr. Noheeryu says he’s surprised by disappointment over the failure to deactivate the sound machine.

“I don’t understand what the problem is,” he says. “No one here is listening anyway.”

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