The Ladder of Success

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Due to potential fall hazards, the US Department of Overreach issued a product recall for the Ladder of Success. Americans should cease using the Ladder immediately unless otherwise instructed. Selling the Ladder is also prohibited under federal law.

According to the Department of Overreach, the Ladder, a specialty product useful for ascending the steep climb to achievement, can break unexpectedly. When the Ladder’s rungs of opportunity collapse, users may suffer bruises and lacerations to ego, reputation, and dignity.

“It’s easy to fall off a Ladder even when it’s not defective,” says Wrong Bywrong, spokesperson for the department. “People start climbing, do something stupid, and tumble back down. Our mandate is to protect Americans from this type of mishap.”

The recall includes all Ladders of Success manufactured over the past four years by UBuiltIt, and sold by Lingering Recession, a national chain of career supply stores. If you have a Ladder of Success in your garage, the Department of Overreach recommends downloading an inspection instruction guide, determining whether your Ladder is fixable, and requesting a repair kit.

If the Ladder landed on you, causing additional injuries after you fell, and you still have your receipt, you may also apply for a refund. However, Mr. Bywrong cautions the refund is not available if you were using the Ladder incorrectly. Examples of incorrect use include leaning the Ladder of Success against the wrong occupational wall, attempting to stand on the top rung of the Ladder, and climbing over others on your way up.

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