Or Your Money Back

Thanks for sharing this!

In a daring move, the US government has decided to give you your money back.

Official announcements of President Bush’s new economic package describe the proposed rebates as a way to jump-start a lagging economy.

Potential recipients have a different take.

“This is no different than going to a store and asking for a refund because the item you purchased is defective,” says one. “Congress hasn’t worked properly for years. Why shouldn’t we get our money back?”

Policy makers are quick to refute that point of view, noting that only lobbyists can actually buy Congress, and therefore ordinary taxpayers have no legal claim to a refund.

Economists say both arguments are moot, since the money is an advance payment, not a true refund. According to experts, that means Americans will get less cash back when filing next year’s tax return. The common terminology for this sleight-of-hand maneuver is “robbing Peter to pay Paul.”

“We prefer to think of it as good politics,” says a top Congressional aide. “The checks will go out as soon as we can borrow the funds from China.”

You might also like these posts

Satire — Gridlock Image source: www.wpclipart.com Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...
Staying Calm Calm International is losing its stature as a global leader in the equanimity market, with sales of flagship merchandise simmering down. While Calm remains a key provider of composure, harmony, and serenity products worldwide, experts say the company has been losing its cool for years---a development reflecting the rea...
Do You Know Better? Of course you know Better. Everyone thinks they know Better. Yet I. Dunno, spokesperson for the international celebrity, says no one really knows Better. "If I didn't know Better," says Mr. Dunno, "I'd think these people were delusional." Experts, many of whom do not actually know Better, say it's natural for peop...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,