Essays

Essay — Nutty Holidays

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At the beginning of Carpenter Country’s long hot summer, I found the greatest web site. It listed a bunch of unusual holidays that had quirky names like Happy Uproar Day, Wonderful Watermelon Day, and Swing in Your Hammock Day.

I’m always ready to party, but unfortunately, by the time I stumbled across that fun bunch, they were already over. However, I did get to make merry at two red-letter days called “Take Your Pants for a Walk” and “Wiggle Your Toes in the Sun.”

Those events were such a blast I wanted more!

PistachioSo, while my pants were still walking and my toes still wiggling, the rest of me went looking for another hang-loose celebration. A short search turned up International Left-Handers Day. Since I’m a lefty, it sounded like a good bash for me.

I was connecting with Bill Gates, a southpaw who writes upside down and backwards the way I do, and listening to comedians tell jokes such as lefties are always in their right mind, when I realized—I wasn’t a true lefty. I do a lot of stuff with my right hand, too.

Well, if I’m not a true left-hander that shoots down partying on Left-Hander Day. And there is no Ambidextrous Day. But even if there were, to be a true ambidextrian (yes, there is such a word), I’d have to be equally good with both hands. Which I’m not.

Am I concerned? Nah. There are other upcoming wacky holidays where I’ll fit in. In fact, one happens in October.

It’s called National Nut Day.

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