Satire — Nothing Changes

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The publicist for Nothing announced today that Nothing is changing. Fans of Nothing were ecstatic about the news.

“I knew we could count on Nothing,” says Ullways Thesame, who has followed the reality star’s career for years. “Nothing is always reliable.”

The celebrity, whose stage name is Nothing Special, is frequently featured on entertainment news, and is well known for being famous. Just hours before the announcement, while being photographed at a pseudo-event, Nothing had hinted things would be staying the same for the foreseeable future.

Skeptics say the abrupt about-face is typical of Nothing, and deride it as another pathetic bid for publicity. They wonder why Nothing matters, and why so many go to such lengths for Nothing. Admirers counter that they understand Nothing, and say they’d do anything for Nothing.

“Leave Nothing alone,” says Ms. Thesame. “Nothing changes when Nothing changes.”


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