No Complaints About Complaining

Thanks for sharing this!

If 2006 was any indication, the complaint market should have a bright 2007. Polls confirm that complaining rose to history-making levels across the globe.

“The world was outstandingly grumpy last year,” says Argu Mentative, Chief Grouch at Grievances, Inc., a manufacturer of specialty complaints. “We’re looking forward to even more irritability in 2007.”

Even normally crabby industry critics agree with Mr. Mentative’s assessment of a growing market. They believe the only threat to the proliferation of carping, moaning and grousing is world peace. Sadly, while that’s the hope of beauty contestants everywhere, actual experience suggests the likelihood is less than optimal.

It may not matter anyway. Experts in fault finding say an outbreak of peace would make no difference. They point to research proving that complaining is inherent to human nature.

All of which is agreeable news for Grievances. The company plans to ramp up production in 2007 to meet demand.

“We have plenty of customers,” says Mr. Mentative. “And no shortage of complaints.”

You might also like these posts

Essay — Listening to the Flowers Image source: HL CarpenterHot, cold, rainy, sunny—what will it be today? Last week, Carpenter Country ushered in spring highs of eighty degrees. Pansies, delphiniums and azaleas bloomed beside a hibiscus. This week icicles festooned our fountain and temps dropped into the twenties. And while Florida shivered, relativ...
Satire — Gridlock Image source: www.wpclipart.com Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...
Essay — Blissful Earlier this week, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in awhile. When I asked how everything was going, she told me she was blissfully happy. Image courtesy of arztsamui/FreeDigitalPhotos.net Her words made me wonder exactly what she meant. Was she feeling ecstatic, exhilarated and freaked out all at the same moment? ...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,