New Law Ruins Memorial Day

Thanks for sharing this!

Holiday plans of fun and frivolity were ruined for thousands of accountants when Congress gave final approval to the Jobs and Growth Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2003 over the Memorial Day weekend, according to a spokesperson for the Institution of Certifiable Public Accountants.

“Our members were looking forward to three days of festivity during our annual ‘Celebrate the Code’ Gala in Taxing, Nebraska,” said Icahnn Count.”Instead we’ll be attending forums to discuss such topics as how much to raise our fees, and which new cars we’d like to buy.”

“It was a real heartbreaker,” acknowledged Cash Flow, a sole practitioner and first-time Gala attendee. “The kids were disappointed when I told them we’d have to skip this year’s keynote lecture about the difference between credits and deductions.”

Not all of the Institution’s 300,000 members were unhappy about the change of plans. One who declined to give his name said, “New laws are exactly the reason I chose accounting for my career. Changes to the code mean job security.”

In fact, according to the press release issued by the Office of Management and Budget, policy makers expect the Act to generate enough extra income for tax return preparers, financial planners and attorneys to offset the reported negative impact to the national deficit. “What decline in revenue?” said one official. “We’re just shifting the tax burden to where it belongs—the professional preparers.”

With three new tax acts passed in three years, the ICPA is considering hosting a dinner and award ceremony for President Bush. “We’d like to let him know how much we appreciate the complexity he’s managed to bring into the tax code in such a short time,” said Ms. Count. “It’s a real accomplishment, and one we’re sure he’s proud of.”

You might also like these posts

Article — Tax Identity Theft Awareness Week Image source: Taxes are scary enough, without adding tax identity theft to the mix. The costs—$3.6 billion a year according to an estimate by the US Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration—are scary, too. Unfortunately, both tax ID theft and the costs are on the rise. The US Federal Trade Commission...
Article — Your 2013 Federal Income Tax Return Image source: Whether you’re a part- or full-time freelancer, receiving income means filing a tax return. Here are three things to keep in mind as you look back at your 2013 business activity. Dates: The IRS will begin accepting 2013 business returns on Monday, January 13, 2014. For individual returns, the da...
Satire — Gridlock Image source: Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,