As we all know, our government’s been touting the stimulus package. On top of that car dealers have been shouting about rebates. So, last week Carpenter Country’s short one bit the bullet and bought a car.
“Do you want new or used?” the salesman asked. To which he received this definitive reply, “New! It definitely has to be new!”
When he gave her an odd look, she told him about her first car–a secondhand Oldsmobile loaded with strange quirks.
In the months she owned the black antique, the windshield wiper blades flew off their arms during a torrential downpour. The gas filter bowl broke, spilling high octane fuel all over the engine block. The shock absorbers reacted to any bump in the road by bouncing backseat occupants off the unpadded headliner. And on several occasions when the gears were downshifted at a red light, the horn blew…all by itself.
But the scariest incident occurred a few hours before a good friend’s wedding.
On the way home from church after the final rehearsal, as the Olds rolled off the interstate onto the downhill exit ramp, the brakes started smoking. By the time the runaway vehicle shot across traffic, skidded around a corner and coasted to a stop in front of the bride-to-be’s home, the rear wheels were on fire.
As the short one stood curbside watching the Weirdmobile burn, she thought: Either I’m jinxed or this well used buggy is haunted by former owners. Whichever, I get the message.
Since then, when it comes to cars–only new will do.