After months of poor sales and tepid consumer interest, The Economy, Inc., a global buying network based in the US, announced it will be closing the doors and going out of business unless it can sell itself by next Tuesday.
“This is a depressing development,” says Red Ink, a company spokesperson. “Even massive government bailouts couldn’t save The Economy.”
Mr. Ink sidestepped questions about exactly what happened to all the government money that was pumped into the business. He also refused to comment on speculation that The Economy may be talking to a certain foreign government about a deal dubbed “The Sumo Sale.”
Given The Economy’s recent troubles, analysts say the potential liquidation is no surprise. They contend the signs have been obvious for months. On the other hand, employees, who are known within the company as “economists,” are reportedly shocked by the news.
“We had no idea this was coming,” says one dazed economist. “We’re still not sure what went wrong.”