Satire — Lie Soap

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Have you ever wondered how some people manage to rinse off untruths, deception, and dishonesty, and regain that squeaky clean feeling? Comeklean Soap Company has the answer: Lie Soap.

“Telling lies is dirty work,” says Tydee Spickenspan, spokesperson for Comeklean. “Our product washes the effects away, and in some cases prevents re-occurence.”

Comeklean produces eight different formulations of Lie Soap, from mild to industrial-strength, depending on the type of lie that needs to be washed off. In addition, the company is experimenting with an anti-bacterial formula for emergencies when no water is available, as well as an organic product that uses natural herbs to provide a pleasant after-scent.

Critics say the soap does more harm than good because making it easy to wash off lies tends to wipe out natural resistance to lying. They point out that Lie Soap never fully removes the tarnish of dishonesty, and the best way to stay clean is to not lie to start with.

Ms. Spickenspan concedes that honesty may be the best policy, but says studies have proven people always tell the truth, even when they lie, and that half the lies they tell aren’t true anyway. For those worried about the potential for misuse, Ms. Spickenspan recommends early exposure to the oral version of Lie Soap, a preventive measure proven effective by generations of parents.


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