Legislative Sales

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The US Congress is looking for a legislative salesperson. If you’re experienced in faking sincerity, over-promising and under-delivering, and pitching things no one wants or needs, the position might be perfect for you.

The job is available immediately–but don’t expect the work to be effortless. According to a recent study, while many new bills have been introduced this year, relatively few have been easy to sell.

“We can’t give these things away,” says a source who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “Even congressional members aren’t buying.”

Experts say the problem is that much of the legislation being peddled is faulty, and no one wants to get stuck with a law that doesn’t work properly. In addition, many laws are made up of multiple, interlocking parts, and are too complex to be described in easily-understood terms, so buyers are confused. At the opposite end of the legislative process are laws created specifically to address a single issue–an issue only the creator cares about.

If the obstacles leave you undaunted, you’re encouraged to apply today. You will need your own transportation, as the successful candidate will be expected to sell legislation directly to the public. Pay is variable, as are the hours.

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