Hogwash

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Have you been exposed to too much Hogwash? If you’re an American voter, the answer is probably yes—and your voting ability may be at risk.

Hogwash, a splashy form of nonsense with its own distinctive smell, has been around for centuries and is always in demand by politicians who distribute it freely to crowds of supporters. In most cases, Hogwash does little damage. But Hogwash production has risen to frothy levels over the past weeks, and some voters might become too befuddled to select a candidate.

According to the Preposterous Drivel Research Center, a non-partisan non-think tank that tracks registered Hogwash users, the surge in production is directly traceable to the closing days of the 2012 presidential campaign.

“Hogwash is a primary ingredient of political advertising,” says Bunkum Swill, spokesperson for the center. “We’re urging Americans to be cautious about how many ads they watch.”

Experts agree, pointing out that an overdose of Hogwash can be toxic to civil discourse. Some go so far as to label Hogwash a pollutant, calling for its elimination from America’s airwaves, a stance that’s been seized upon by poorly mannered four-year-olds and certain adults.

Mr. Swill calls that goal unrealistic. He’s confident complaints will shrink after the current election cycle, and he says America will never be completely Hogwash-free.

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