Thanks for sharing this!

News that the US Telephone Yakkers Administration will soon be issuing mandatory etiquette standards for mobile phone users has the rudeness industry in an uproar.

The rules, which are still in the proposal stage, will require buyers to pass a “manners test” before phones are activated. The TYA also wants etiquette control systems installed on all newly manufactured handsets. In addition, the Administration believes further steps may be necessary to combat dwindling decorum among incessant chatters. Measures under consideration include licensing users, monitoring conversations and fining repeat offenders.

Industry analysts say companies in the bad-behavior business are likely to oppose the mandates. “Rudeness is a sensitive issue,” says one.

But the government insists the new rules are essential to promote telephone civility. According to a press release, common side effects of mobile phone ill manners include annoyance, hurt feelings and broken relationships. One clinical study found that making phone calls from public restrooms infringes on privacy rights, and can cause nausea in call recipients.

Still, the proposed rudeness measures face an uphill battle. Demand for bad manners continues to increase worldwide, and groups seeking to preserve the right to be rude have begun to form.

“Sure, they’re only targeting mobile phone users now. But this is a disturbing trend,” says a spokesperson for the nonprofit organization Fonies With Attitude. “Are we all going to be required to say please and thank you next?”

You might also like these posts

Essay — Listening to the Flowers Image source: HL CarpenterHot, cold, rainy, sunny—what will it be today? Last week, Carpenter Country ushered in spring highs of eighty degrees. Pansies, delphiniums and azaleas bloomed beside a hibiscus. This week icicles festooned our fountain and temps dropped into the twenties. And while Florida shivered, relativ...
Satire — Gridlock Image source: www.wpclipart.com Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...
Essay — Blissful Earlier this week, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in awhile. When I asked how everything was going, she told me she was blissfully happy. Image courtesy of arztsamui/FreeDigitalPhotos.net Her words made me wonder exactly what she meant. Was she feeling ecstatic, exhilarated and freaked out all at the same moment? ...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,