Satire — Gridlock

Thanks for sharing this!

Image source: www.wpclipart.com

Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality continues to rise.

“We’ve got Gridlock like you wouldn’t believe,” says Ata Impasse, spokesperson for Full Stop, a manufacturing alliance based in Washington DC. “This stuff makes it impossible to get anything done.”

According to one cohort of industry experts, Gridlock is invaluable for times when incompetence is high and agreement is nonexistent. Under those circumstances, a thick coat of Gridlock creates a barrier that prevents action from leaking through. These fans believe Gridlock is the best way to stop mistakes before they occur, and they’re convinced it’s a powerful legislative-prevention technique that benefits everyone.

Others disagree. They say the political inaction caused by Gridlock results in national stagnation. They’d like to see Gridlock replaced with a less immobilizing solution.

At present, neither faction is willing to compromise, and the debate has stalled.

Mr. Impasse is philosophical about the stalemate. “When it comes to Gridlock,” he says, “no agreement will ever be reached.”

***

You might also like these posts

Article — History of the US Department of Treasury In 1775, at the start of the American Revolution, the Continental Congress had no power to collect taxes or to borrow money to finance a war. However, the Congress could issue “bills of credit,” which were short-term public loans to the new government. Nature print image courtesy of Beyond My Ken (via Wikimedia Commons)...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...
Article — The Government Accountability Office Who's keeping an eye on the US government till? That watchdog is the Government Accountability Office (GAO). Image source: gao.gov In 1921, after World War I raised the national debt to over $2 billion, the Budget and Accounting Act transferred auditing responsibilities, accounting, and claims functions from the Trea...
Staying Calm Calm International is losing its stature as a global leader in the equanimity market, with sales of flagship merchandise simmering down. While Calm remains a key provider of composure, harmony, and serenity products worldwide, experts say the company has been losing its cool for years---a development reflecting the rea...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,