Fun at Work on the Wane

Thanks for sharing this!

This week’s Labor Department report of an 8.1% growth rate in US productivity, much of it attributable to the services sector of the economy, is supposed to be good news.

Tell that to the management of, a web-based company whose profitability depends on workers being able to goof off on the job.

“It’s potentially devastating to our business. With each expansion in productivity, our revenue drops,” says T. Card,’s CEO.”Like so many other industries, we may have to consider outsourcing. We’re currently investigating the possibility of sending fun and frivolity overseas.”

There was a time when had a bright future. The company enjoyed a healthy profit from sales of its line of “Fun From Nine to Five” accessories, and plenty of hits on its interactive web site, which offers tips for making the work environment more pleasurable. But today, with output per hour worked rising at a rapid pace, employees have no time for fun at the office.

“It’s all work, work, work,” says a stock broker who declined to give his name. “I can’t remember the last time I was actually able to finish a computer game.”

Workers may be stressed over having to produce more while watching those in surrounding cubicles lose their jobs, but economists and industry leaders are heralding the improvement.

When told that Alan Greenspan seemed pleased about the rate of productivity growth, Mr. Card sniffed, “It’s not surprising. He has a history of being opposed to exuberance.”

You might also like these posts

Essay — Listening to the Flowers Image source: HL CarpenterHot, cold, rainy, sunny—what will it be today? Last week, Carpenter Country ushered in spring highs of eighty degrees. Pansies, delphiniums and azaleas bloomed beside a hibiscus. This week icicles festooned our fountain and temps dropped into the twenties. And while Florida shivered, relativ...
Satire — Gridlock Image source: Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...
Essay — Blissful Earlier this week, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in awhile. When I asked how everything was going, she told me she was blissfully happy. Image courtesy of arztsamui/ Her words made me wonder exactly what she meant. Was she feeling ecstatic, exhilarated and freaked out all at the same moment? ...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,