Evicting Uncertainty

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How do you get rid of an unwelcome guest? The American Public Inn is seeking suggestions for ousting Economic Uncertainty, a guest who arrived at the Washington DC hotel four years ago, and who has since overstayed his welcome.

“We want to give Mr. Uncertainty the boot,” says I.M. Feerfull, spokesperson for the American Public. “He’s bad for business.”

Unfortunately, the American Public has limited recourse. Authorities say there is nothing they can do to evict Mr. Uncertainty, and they’re urging him to leave on his own.

For his part, Mr. Uncertainty insists he’s not going anywhere. He likes staying at the inn, where he’s been since his divorce from wife Reality. He’s even asked his offspring, Fiscal, Regulatory, and Legal Uncertainty, to join him.

Mr. Feerfull is trying to remain optimistic, though he doubts the American Public will ever be completely free of Mr. Uncertainty. “I’m afraid we’ll have to learn to live with him,” says Mr. Feerful. “At this point, the only certainty is that Mr. Uncertainty will always be here.”

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