The US government has tracked the fugitive Economy to a vacation spot in the island nation Betwixt and Between, but forcing Mr. Economy to return to his home country is proving to be a long, drawn-out affair.
According to the US Department of Cluelessness, the problem is the lack of an extradition treaty. Betwixt and Between’s government is reluctant to turn Mr. Economy over to the US, saying they fear he will be subject to unfavorable handling under the current administration. In addition, the island nation says Mr. Economy has been a model citizen while in their country and that he is not considered a criminal here, the way he is in US political circles.
As long as Betwixt and Between refuses to cooperate, the Department of Cluelessness admits its options are limited. Department analysts are exploring the possibility of abducting Mr. Economy from Betwixt and Between and forcibly returning him to the US under the guise of national security.
Experts say the legality of kidnapping Mr. Economy is questionable. They point out another difficulty with taking this route: Mr. Economy would be unlikely to cooperate upon his return, and could cause further difficulties.
The Department of Cluelessness brushes aside such worries, saying they are certain they will soon bring Mr. Economy back in the US.
“We will keep moving forward with our plans for Mr. Economy,” says a spokesperson for the Department of Cluelessness. “We know we’re headed in the right direction.”