Essays

Essay — Achoo…Kerching!

Thanks for sharing this!

Last week, Carpenter Country’s crape myrtles leaped into bloom, the Pensacola Bahia dispatched its seeds a month ahead of time, and I started sneezing.

As an investor, I’m always on the lookout for upwardly mobile stocks. So after several hardy kerchoos sent me running for tissues and nasal spray, I wondered if I’d found a way to increase my assets.

Image source: Evan-Amos, Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
Image source: Evan-Amos, Public domain via Wikimedia Commons

But before any of my money headed to the stock market, I needed answers to a few questions, such as, what was causing the accelerated plant bloom? And was a wider audience besieged by allergies, or was the stuffy nose, runny eyes syndrome a temporary condition confined to our area?

This morning a piece of what I call interesting financial news caught my attention.

In part, it read something like this: According to recent research, higher incidents of pollution combined with hot air have upped carbon dioxide levels around the globe. The worldwide jump in CO2 may be spurring plant growth and making pollen emerge earlier…

Wow–increased pollen counts could make sneezing a full-time global event!

Since I’m an optimist, this bad situation looked like a great buying opportunity. I pulled up my brokerage account and bought several hundred shares of gentle nose wipes and total sneeze relief products.

Now, at the slightest hint of an ah-choo, I grab a handful of tissues and reach for the allergy meds.

As you can see, I’m hoping to emulate Warren Buffet. But instead of being nicknamed The Oracle of Omaha, I’d rather be known as–

–the Whiz of Carpenter Country.

***

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