Accounting for Leftovers

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You bought an oven mitt, a turkey fryer, a saucepan stirrer and a digital thermometer. You remembered the turkey, two kinds of potatoes, gravy, stuffing and a variety of vegetables. You ordered the pies and stocked the refrigerator with whipped cream. You’re set for T-day.

Or are you? What about the inventory management software?

The what?

The inventory management software. Just in time for the holidays, the Institution of Certifiable Public Accountants (ICPA) has rolled out Excess 4.73, a computer program designed to take the guesswork out of those mysterious foil wrapped packages that populate refrigerator shelves after Thanksgiving.

“It’s the last word in tracking leftovers,” says C. Book, a CPA and amateur chef who purchased the new software as soon as it became available. “Green Algae Surprise is a thing of the past.”

According to literature provided by ICPA, Green Algae Surprise is the US Department of Agriculture’s official term for the moldy, unidentifiable remains of holiday meals usually discovered behind the milk carton months after a feast. Industry experts are convinced the high “yuck” factor of Green Algae Surprise is the main reason for Excess 4.73’s startling popularity.

Critics contend that the program, which uses a sophisticated technique based on military supply logistic algorithms, is overly complex. Icahnn Count, spokesperson for ICPA, believes people interested in maintaining detailed records of the leftovers from meals past are willing to spend a little time learning how to navigate the Excess menus. But she adds that the next version may be more user-friendly.

“We’re working on a streamlined version for the Department of Defense,” she says. “They want to use it to track surplus artillery.”

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