Accountants Sued For Being Too Opinionated

Thanks for sharing this!

After announcing a largely unnoticed decision in the matter of affirmative action, the nine Justices of the U.S. Supreme Court will soon turn their attention to a far more controversial case.

Court watchers have been eagerly awaiting the day oral arguments would begin in the case of The Association of Radio Talk Show Hosts (TARTSH) vs. the Institution of Certifiable Public Accountants (ICPA).

The lawsuit, originally filed in California, alleges that accountants are infringing on the inherent right of TARTSH members to be the most opinionated segment of modern society.

Since the day the Supreme Court agreed to hear the case, controversy has been raging over whether accountants are too opinionated. Pre-trial speculation on the outcome has been rampant.

TARTSH stated in a recent press release, “There’s only one possible conclusion to this case. Everyone who has ever had a tax return prepared or an audit completed knows accountants have far too many opinions. And it’s not like they haven’t already publicly admitted as much. Just take a look at every audit report ever filed with the SEC.”

But the ICPA is certain accountants will be vindicated. “Of course we have opinions,” says Icahnn Count, spokesperson for the Institution. “We’re an extremely outgoing, intelligent group of people, and we know a lot about a variety of subjects. If you want my opinion of TARTSH—“

At that point Ms. Count was interrupted by her lawyer, who stated she did not, in fact, have an opinion on that particular topic.

Some think the case is nothing more than a publicity stunt by TARTSH.

“The whole issue is overblown,” says C. Asset, a CPA and partner in the last big auditing firm that still exists in the US. “At least, that’s my opinion.”

You might also like these posts

Article — Tax Identity Theft Awareness Week Image source: Taxes are scary enough, without adding tax identity theft to the mix. The costs—$3.6 billion a year according to an estimate by the US Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration—are scary, too. Unfortunately, both tax ID theft and the costs are on the rise. The US Federal Trade Commission...
Article — Your 2013 Federal Income Tax Return Image source: Whether you’re a part- or full-time freelancer, receiving income means filing a tax return. Here are three things to keep in mind as you look back at your 2013 business activity. Dates: The IRS will begin accepting 2013 business returns on Monday, January 13, 2014. For individual returns, the da...
Satire — Gridlock Image source: Some people say you can never have enough Gridlock. Fortunately there’s no shortage of the sticky product, which is designed to impede progress. Thanks to the latest advances in engineering, production, and automation, more Gridlock is being produced than ever before, and the quality cont...
The End of The Day Things are growing dark at The End of The Day, and management is losing sleep over competitors who refuse to rest. "We’re settling in for a long, dark period," says Good Night, spokesperson for The End of The Day. "We’re not sure what tomorrow will bring." The End of The Day produces relaxation products, many of which...

We write. Visit us in Carpenter Country, a magical place that, like our stories, is unreal but not untrue.

Posted in Satire Tagged with: ,